Anxiety, my new outlook upon it…

Anxiety. A real monster. A reality in life.

We have energy inside us, outside of us, around us, and through us.  That energy is color and describes our demeanor.

I have recently realized to ask each day, “what do I want to be free of today?”

THEN…

The thing that I wanted to be free from may be just the thing that tethers me to a higher power. I can be free from the thing binding me, but at the same time, the thing tethers me to others who have the same “thing”. I can hold space for others in this “thing”; I can say to them, “you are not the only one.”

If I had not had the anxiety attacks, and the health manifestations that came with them, maybe I would not be as sensitive and know what to do with those people.  RATHER, I can embrace the anxiety, the results of it, the worry and the results of it, the control issues and the results with them, and the abandonment issues and the issues with that (and all of this from childhood to now), and MAKE THIS MY MESSAGE. This is ME.

It is how we ride the things (the roller coasters, waves, etc.) we want to be free of, and the things we love, and all the things in between, that make the difference. The difference, as a counselor told me, is “as a piece of hair on our head; the diameter of the hair is the difference between terror and excitement.”

I hate roller coasters, and always have, and probably always will; they terrify me. I asked myself what is it about them that I hate…and that is where it all became clear, connected with the anxiety in my life, and described my relation with the anxiety.  We all ride them differently, the things that terrify us, and yet something draws us to them at the same time. REPEAT THAT, it is profound. We all ride them differently, the things that terrify us, and yet something draws us to them at the same time.

Breath and Spirit are the same word in all languages and cultures on this earth, and in the word of the Creator (the Bible’s Hebrew).

Love others as you love yourself then takes on a whole new meaning:  unselfish to yourself “as” (at the same time as) others.

Take care. Be healthy.